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Post by simonwilson on May 23, 2011 2:18:19 GMT
Welcome to the U16 Social League. It's a bit like the adult Social League but more sensible. Hopefully nobody here will claim points for dressing up as Robin Hood and shooting at a busker in the street.
You will get points for doing good things. You will lose points for doing bad things. Good things - working for the club and turning up to things. Bad things - eating my biscuits. I warned you to leave it alone Barron.
At the end of the season the winner gets bragging rights and may even be given a valuable prize. That's a lie. But you will definitely get bragging rights.
Three points will be awarded for going bag-packing, because nobody really like giving up their time to pack bags.
Two points will be given for attending 1st team home matches (with extra points for helping at the match).
Two points will be awarded for attending the Birmingham match - this is a lesson to back-sliders who stayed at home.
So -
Ford - 3 for bag packing, two for a home match and two for Birmingham
Wilson - 3 for bag packing, two for Birmingham
The rest of you get two points for Birmingham.
Frobisher, Jameson and McKenzie get an extra point for signing up to the match official's course.
However, there are penalties.
Barron - I told you I would get my revenge for that chocolate cookie. Minus 1.
Hyams - bringing a tie to a match. Minus 1. This isn't Twickenham. However, it gets worse - another Minus 1 for changing his phone number without telling me so he nearly missed the match through not getting a lift. Thought I'd forget that one did you?
Mason - appearing in too many photographs. Minus 1.
Wilkinson - forgetting shorts and socks. Minus 1. I am being lenient, as wearing those red shorts must have been quite upsetting.
Wilson - leaving gumshield in the changing room. Minus 1. Listen to Sadler next time.
I could have taken more points off, so consider this a warning.
Eryn Ford - 7 Peter Wilson - 4 Joe Frobisher - 3 Damian Jameson - 3 Jamal McKenzie - 3 Alex Betts - 2 Isa Cashmore - 2 Morgan Corker - 2 Mackenzie Lang - 2 George Larmond - 2 Nic Mouj - 2 Zak White - 2 Wynne Callum - 2 David Barron - 1 Rory Mason - 1 Jack Wilkinson - 1 Dan Hyams - 0
Looks like we have an early leader, but there's plenty of time left, and three more bag packings to volunteer for.
That's a hint by the way.
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finemaster
Outlaws Academy
Punishing the foolish
Posts: 38
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Post by finemaster on May 23, 2011 10:27:50 GMT
Fine Master approves.
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Post by simonwilson on May 23, 2011 11:38:21 GMT
Thank you Finemaster, you are my inspiration.
In addition to punishing the foolish I am also trying to protect my biscuits.
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 6, 2011 2:14:28 GMT
This week it's 2 points for declaring yourself available and turning up.
No points for turning up without declaring yourself available. I debated a points deduction for using the "I didn't get the email" excuse. I may yet come back to this...
Extra points -
+5 for Nick "Wrong Man" Mouj - taking one for the team and being sin-binned in a case of mistaken identity.
- 5 for Joe Frobisher. You know why.
+ 5 for Damian Smith for turning out despite an Unpleasant Bowel Condition.
But - 3 for the subsequent events connected to the UBC, which meant that people had to use breathing apparatus in the changing rooms.
+2 Jimmy Knowles. Couldn't come because of exams but sends texts in plenty of time.
-1 Hyams. Changing too quickly. -1 Lang. Following in Rory's footsteps with Too Many Photos. -1 McKenzie. For asking if we had a team physio. It was a sprain!
Nic Mouj - 9 Eryn Ford - 7 Peter Wilson - 6 Damian Jameson - 5 Damian Smith - 4 Jamal McKenzie - 4 Isa Cashmore - 4 Morgan Corker - 4 George Larmond - 4 Zak White - 4 Callum Wynne - 4 David Barron - 3 Mackenzie Lang - 3 Jack Wilkinson - 3 Alex Betts - 2 Dylan Edginton - 2 Will Heath -2 Ethan Hendricks - 2 Jimmy Knowles - 2 Connor Leighton - 2 Sam Turnbull - 2 Dan Hyams - 1 Rory Mason - 1 Joe Frobisher - 0
And so Nick "Wrong Man" Mouj rises to the top of the board and Hyams, despite deserving to stay bottom after his pathetic attempt at avoiding the extra "friendly" match, drags himself from the bottom of the table.
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Post by digger on Jun 6, 2011 11:47:55 GMT
Love it. Good work fellas
Fizz
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 7, 2011 12:58:33 GMT
Thought we had a volunteer for physio there for a minute...
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 8, 2011 0:57:59 GMT
Having viewed the photgraphs of the match and consulted with the Yorkshire Oracle it gives me no pleasure at all to remove a further five points from Joe Frobisher's pitiful total. * You tie your boots before the match, young one, not on the Field of Play. As the news fills with stories about the launch of the "RMS Titanic" one hundred years ago it appears that young Frobisher's career with Outlaws is set to follow the same trajectory as the famous ship as he sinks to -5 and no sign of Lew Grade to assist. commentarista.com/2011/06/06/belfast-antes-up-on-titanic-anniversary/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raise_the_Titanic! *Actually it does, but you have to keep up the pretence
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 12, 2011 7:38:03 GMT
Attending a First Team Match, which shows both club spirit and the desire to learn about RL.
Frobisher, Logan, Wilson - 2 points
Working the scoreboard - 2 extra points for Logan, but next time don't stand in front of it!
Points relating to Patriots game will be added later today, though Hyams is once more going to feature after breaking new ground in terms of planning availability.
Nic Mouj - 9 Peter Wilson - 8 Eryn Ford - 7 Damian Jameson - 5 Damian Smith - 4 Jamal McKenzie - 4 Isa Cashmore - 4 Morgan Corker - 4 George Larmond - 4 Charles Logan - 4 Zak White - 4 Callum Wynne - 4 David Barron - 3 Mackenzie Lang - 3 Jack Wilkinson - 3 Alex Betts - 2 Dylan Edginton - 2 Will Heath -2 Ethan Hendricks - 2 Jimmy Knowles - 2 Connor Leighton - 2 Sam Turnbull - 2 Dan Hyams - 1 Rory Mason - 1 Joe Frobisher - minus 3
After his holiday Logan is straight in with four poimts. Wilson challenges for top spot. Frobisher drags himself painfully up the hill to zero. The tension rises...
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 13, 2011 12:08:57 GMT
Two points to everyone for turning out and an extra two for keeping going to the end on a day when nothing seemed to go right. Apart from Jack Wilkinson, who left a half time. He gets three extra for travelling all that way just to play half a game. And one more for standing out at Odsall in the rain to watch a draw. Five points for bravery in playing on with a suspected dislocated shoulder to Joe Frobisher. Two extra to Eryn Ford and Sam Turnbull for offering to play for Patriots. Two points to George Larmond for taking my advice and getting an early night before the match. Two extra for Zak White for giving us the go forward in the closing stages that prevented an embarrassing nilling. I don't usually give points for on-field activity but sometimes it has to be done. Something else I don't normally do is give points to coaches but after what happened to my Jaffa Cakes on the way back from the match it's minus five to Sadler the Human Cube. There were twelve in the pack I managed to get two. At half a minus point per Jaffa Cake I think I'm probably letting him off lightly, but it's time to draw a line in the crumbs. Part of the reason for the Social League is to protect my biscuits. Although legal opinion is that a Jaffa cake is, as the name suggests, a cake, there is sufficient anecdotal evidence to include them in my biscuit protection remit. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_CakesAnother minus five to Joe Frobisher for being stupid enough to be brave enough to play on with a suspected dislocated shoulder. This deduction is suspened for three weeks and will only come into effect if he is stupid enough to return to playing too soon.For telling me "somebody at football said we didn't have a game" minus two to Dan Hyman, who will, I hope learn from his mistake in not consulting the team manager, website or fixtures list. For telling me he plays football Dan Hyman deserves more deductions but I'm letting him off because of his big hitting. Tempting to do Morgan Corker for getting sin-binned, but I'll put it down to enthusiasm rather than stupidity. At least the right man got sent off this time. Nic Mouj - 13 Eryn Ford - 13 Peter Wilson - 12 Jack Wilkinson - 11 George Larmond - 10 Zak White - 10 Damian Jameson - 9 Damian Smith - 8 Jamal McKenzie - 8 Isa Cashmore - 8 Morgan Corker - 8 Charles Logan - 8 Sam Turnbull - 8 Callum Wynne - 8 David Barron - 7 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Alex Betts - 6 Dylan Edginton - 6 Joe Frobisher - 6 Will Heath -6 Ethan Hendricks - 6 Jimmy Knowles - 6 Connor Leighton - 6 Rory Mason - 5 Dan Hyams - 3 Coach Sadler - minus 5
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 19, 2011 22:22:23 GMT
4 points for helping with bag-packing on Saturday - 3 for packing and a bonus point because it was the worst day's bag-packing I've ever seen.
Minus one for Jack Wilkinson who turned up looking the same colour as Morticia Addams, though without the cheekbones.
Minus one for Charles Logan who had to go and eat ten minutes after he arrived.
No points for turning up for a home game - bit too easy really - but two points to everyone for an entertaining game and keeping going to the end.
Three extra to Jordan Mills for the biggest debut hit of the season
Two extra to Jimmy Knowles for his graceful diving tackle. And for allowing me to use the words "graceful" and "Jimmy Knowles" in the same sentence.
Two extra to Nick Mouj for his 20 metre scoot from a quick play the ball - good thinking.
Minus two for the Heathinator - good work undone by the suspicion that his party antics had taken the edge off his performance. Yes, that's two off for a party the night before a match.
Might be three next time...
Nic Mouj - 21 Eryn Ford - 19 Peter Wilson - 18 Jack Wilkinson - 16 George Larmond - 16 Charles Logan - 13 Ethan Hendricks - 12 Zak White - 12 Damian Jameson - 11 Morgan Corker - 10 Jimmy Knowles - 10 Callum Wynne - 10 Alex Betts - 8 Damian Smith - 8 Jamal McKenzie - 8 Isa Cashmore - 8 Sam Turnbull - 8 Dylan Edginton - 8 Joe Frobisher - 8 Connor Leighton - 8 David Barron - 7 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Will Heath -6 Jordan Mills - 5 Dan Hyams - 3 Cameron Hannah - 2 Coach Sadler - minus 5
Despite his heroics on Saturday, including a line break and a try in a 75 minute stint as prop, Coach Sadler is still rooted to the bottom of the table. I might have relented if only he had managed the full 80.
At the top, Nick Mouj opens up a small gap over Eryn Ford while Larmond, Logan and Hendricks make a determined assault on the top five via their cunning bag-packing volunteer plan.
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 26, 2011 6:45:28 GMT
Bag packing again and three points to Larmond, Smith and Wilson for their efforts.
Another tough day - people were giving money but with too few collectors we had to watch hundreds of potential pounds leave the building...
Total is now over £900 but with a few extra volunteers on the last two Saturdays it could have been three or four hundred more.
There have been some pretty poor excuses for not coming, and a lot of silence from some people. I won't be making deductions for poor excuses as those people did at least get in touch. However, just for reference, a birthday is not an excuse. It's a day on a calendar, not a disabling condition. Besides which, what better way can you think of passing your birthday than raising money for your team in company with your mates? I won't name names as holding people up to ridicule, like hanging and flogging, is no longer in fashion.
Ah, the good old days!
So, with Wilson tying for first and Larmond coming up strongly, will Mouj and Ford be able to hang on?
At the lower end of the table a suspended points deduction still hangs over Frobisher and Hyams is always likely to dig himself in deeper, whether with a football related gaffe or sartorial faux pas, so could we see a change of position there?
Probably not, due to Coach Sadler's biscuit-related villainy, but you never know. Could the square one rehabilitate hinmself? Can anyone fall victim to an evil points deduction? Wathch this space.
Nic Mouj - 21 Peter Wilson - 21 Eryn Ford - 19 George Larmond - 19 Jack Wilkinson - 16 Charles Logan - 13 Ethan Hendricks - 12 Zak White - 12 Damian Jameson - 11 Damian Smith - 11 Morgan Corker - 10 Jimmy Knowles - 10 Callum Wynne - 10 Alex Betts - 8 Jamal McKenzie - 8 Isa Cashmore - 8 Sam Turnbull - 8 Dylan Edginton - 8 Joe Frobisher - 8 Connor Leighton - 8 David Barron - 7 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Will Heath -6 Jordan Mills - 5 Dan Hyams - 3 Cameron Hannah - 2 Coach Sadler - minus 5
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Post by simonwilson on Jun 26, 2011 20:38:02 GMT
Some big changes this week after another bag packing and some hard work on Sunday. No points for turning up as it was the parents who did all the work in travelling - one was so dedicated he even went to another rugby club on the way... However, it has to be two points for heroism in the first half and two more for extreme heroism in playing uphill in the second half. Extra points go to: Eryn Ford, for risking his life by playing in such heat - I seriously thought of calling out Greenpeace at one point. www.europaplus.tv/2011/05/firefighters-lose-bid-to-save-beached-whale/Dan Hyams - for services to smashing people, particularly the kid who thought a down hill shoulder charge would produce results. It did, if rendering yourself semi-conscious was the result you intended. Nice one Dan. Will Heath - last week he was the Heathinator, this week he added a dimension to the kicking game. Who knows what he might do next week, be the Heathinator and add a dimension to the kicking game? Dylan Edginton, Cameron Hannah and Jack Wilkinson. Because they make their hits, carry the ball and don't often get a mention. Till now. Eryn Ford - 25 Peter Wilson - 25 George Larmond - 23 Jack Wilkinson - 22 Nic Mouj - 21 Charles Logan - 17 Zak White - 16 Damian Jameson - 15 Dylan Edginton - 14 Callum Wynne - 14 Alex Betts - 12 Isa Cashmore - 12 Joe Frobisher - 12 Ethan Hendricks - 12 Will Heath - 12 Jamal McKenzie - 12 Sam Turnbull - 12 Damian Smith - 11 Morgan Corker - 10 Jimmy Knowles - 10 Dan Hyams - 9 Cameron Hannah - 8 Connor Leighton - 8 David Barron - 7 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Jordan Mills - 5 Coach Sadler - minus 5
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Post by simonwilson on Jul 3, 2011 21:56:45 GMT
Four points for turning up. It's boring but necessary. Three points for getting in touch to say you couldn't come - good self-discipline. I'm torn in the matter of Hyams - texting half an hour into the session to say you were giving yourself the day off is just asking to be ridiculed, but I'll give you two points because I'm feeling mellow today.
I'll even give Sadler four points for turning up, so he's nearly recovered from his five point confectionary related penalty.
With just one bag-packing, a few weeks and a handful of home matches to go things are really hotting up with a new leader and a dozen people all within touching distance of the lead.
It can still all change, with a sitting of the new Forfeit Committee in prospect.
Who will be a Social Hero? Who will be a Social Zero?
Peter Wilson - 29 Eryn Ford - 28 George Larmond - 27 Jack Wilkinson - 26 Nic Mouj - 25 Charles Logan - 20 Zak White - 20 Damian Jameson - 19 Dylan Edginton - 18 Callum Wynne - 18 Alex Betts - 16 Joe Frobisher - 16 Isa Cashmore - 15 Will Heath - 15 Sam Turnbull - 15 Damian Smith - 14 Morgan Corker - 14 Jimmy Knowles - 14 Ethan Hendricks - 12 Connor Leighton - 12 Jamal McKenzie - 12 Dan Hyams - 11 Cameron Hannah - 11 David Barron - 7 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Jordan Mills - 5 Coach Sadler - minus 1
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Post by simonwilson on Jul 11, 2011 2:37:14 GMT
Two points for attending a first team home match - Larmond, Logan, Wilson with two extra for doing the scoreboard going to Larmond and Wilson.
Three points for bag packing go to Barron, Edginton, Frobisher, McKenzie, Ndlovu, Turnbull, Wilkinson and Wilson.
There are some adjustments to be made, but I'm feeling mellow today so no deduction for Wilkinson sending his mum instead of coming himself and nothing (apart from nomination for the George Straschan Navigation Trophy) for David Barron and those immortal words "Which Sainsbury's are you in?" Answer: the one with ASDA written on the front.
So Wilson and Larmond become the first two through the 30 point barrier. Wilkinson comes charging up behind (despite sending his mum to do his dirty work) and Eryn Ford, one time league leader is left blowing in the wind. Edginton, Logan, and even that long-haired layabout Frobisher, are coming on strongly now and Thando Ndlovu (too far behind to make any inpression on the leaders) comes bag packing without playing a game for us this year - dedication indeed. And three extra points for his efforts.
Peter Wilson - 36 George Larmond - 31 Jack Wilkinson - 29 Eryn Ford - 28 Nic Mouj - 25 Charles Logan - 22 Dylan Edginton - 21 Zak White - 20 Joe Frobisher - 19 Damian Jameson - 19 Sam Turnbull - 18 Callum Wynne - 18 Alex Betts - 16 Isa Cashmore - 15 Will Heath - 15 Jamal McKenzie - 15 Damian Smith - 14 Morgan Corker - 14 Jimmy Knowles - 14 Ethan Hendricks - 12 Connor Leighton - 12 Dan Hyams - 11 Cameron Hannah - 11 David Barron - 10 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Thando Ndlovu - 6 Jordan Mills - 5 Coach Sadler - minus 1
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Post by simonwilson on Jul 16, 2011 9:43:30 GMT
Two points for never giving up.
Two extras for Barron, Hyams and Knowles for some good work on the field.
Three points for Hyams for attempting to rehabilitate himself by washing the shirts. It may work, it may not...
Two extra for Frobisher and McKenzie for successful completiion of the Match Officials' Course.
Thinga are getting interesting at the top now, with Wilson's lead dwindling after he deserted the team to go to China and Frobisher and Hyams both putting up a late challenge.
Might yet be afew adjustments after giving more thought to things - who can tell what might happen next?
Peter Wilson - 36 George Larmond - 33 Jack Wilkinson - 31 Eryn Ford - 30 Nic Mouj - 27 Charles Logan - 24 Dylan Edginton - 23 Joe Frobisher - 23 Sam Turnbull - 20 Zak White - 20 Callum Wynne - 20 Damian Jameson - 19 Alex Betts - 18 Dan Hyams - 18 Jimmy Knowles - 18 Isa Cashmore - 17 Will Heath - 17 Jamal McKenzie - 17 Morgan Corker - 16 David Barron - 14 Damian Smith - 14 Ethan Hendricks - 14 Connor Leighton - 14 Cameron Hannah - 13 Mackenzie Lang - 7 Rory Mason - 7 Jordan Mills - 7 Thando Ndlovu - 6 Coach Sadler - minus 1
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